Granting My Son's Christmas Wish
Three years ago, when I asked my son what he wanted for Christmas, he said: “I would want you not to have mental illness anymore. I mean, I don’t really need anything else in my life, and no thing could make my life better.” I look at that post from three years ago (photo above) with my son's Christmas wish, and I can’t believe where I am now. Last night, a friend called and said she had tickets to an NHL Hockey game for that night, and would my son, Jeffrey, and I like them
Mental, Physical, and Emotional Balance Learned from Fathers
My 13-year-old son started a blog this week called “The Work Never Goes Away.” He is only two posts in, but, since today is Father’s Day, I was reflecting on the content of his two blogs and saw how much of what is in just that small amount of content has been inspired by the fathers in his life. Both my husband, Jeff, and my dad, Charlie, have been a huge part of our son’s life. Many of you know that I started my first blog, “Moving in With Dementia,” when my family was livi
You Can Live Well With Lewy Body Dementia: #LivingWellWithLBD
In a recent the ABC interview with Robin Williams’ widow, Susan, it was revealed that an autopsy showed Robin Williams had Lewy Body Dementia (LBD). In the interview, Susan says: “If Robin was lucky, he would've had maybe three years left. And they would've been hard years. And it's a good chance he would've been locked up.” This is probably what her doctors told her, but this is not a reality for most people with dementia or Lewy Body Dementia. When we frame dementia in this
In Memory of Carolyn L. Farrell: April 17, 1937 - January 18, 2015
On January 18, 2015, at 77 years old, my Mom died peacefully at home from Lewy Body Dementia. My Mom was a beautiful person, inside and out. She was our Snow White. Snow White was her favorite Disney princess who was also “born” the same year as Mom- 1937. Mom was smart and sassy, with a great sense of humor that not everyone saw. She could be totally spiritual and totally irreverent at the same time. She loved her family fiercely and always strove to make home a beautiful pl
End of Life: How to Be There When You Can't Be There
[Image: FaceTime with my mom, dad, and sister. I love this photo because it shows that there is much more connection when you can see each other than when you just call.] My husband, son, and I were able to go to my parents home last week since my Mom, who has Lewy Body dementia, declined. She stopped eating and drinking, then ate and drank a bit, but then stopped again. My family and I had to go back to our home, across the country, and I am really sad that I cannot be there
In The End, What Matters Most, Was In The Middle
[Image: Thanksgiving 2014. Rev. Katie's Mom sitting in a wheelchair by her grandson while watching television together.] Yesterday I wrote a post about how to decide if you will go home to be with your dying parent/loved one. I talked about how that post was written to focus mainly on the last few days or weeks of a person’s life and that overall if the relationship to your loved one is important to you, you will want to visit them often before it even gets to be their last d
Should I Go Home to Be With My Dying Parent/ Loved One With Dementia?
My dad told me a few days ago that my mom has gotten much worse and is not taking any food and very little water. She has become mostly non-responsive, but is not in a coma. It looks like she might be actively dying, but we have no idea if she has days or weeks left. I then had to decide if I wanted to and could go home to be with her. I want to be clear that this is just a thought process around the very end of life. If we want a relationship with our loved one, then truly t
What My Son Truly Wants For Christmas: My Recovery
[Image: Rev. Katie and her son on a fun walk in the park on Christmas Eve.] My son and I were talking today, answering the question: “What would you most want for Christmas?” He said he was not sure what he would want, and then he looked at me and said, “Mommy, could this be anything? Like, are we imagining the perfect Christmas gift?” I told him, sure, we could imagine anything we wanted. He said “I would want you not to have mental illness anymore. I mean, I don’t really ne
5 Tips for a Successful Holiday for Your Loved One with Dementia
While the holidays are a time many of us feel a great pull to be with our loved ones with dementia, we may set them up for failure and possible decline due to our need to celebrate the holidays. For instance, my Mom almost always, in the last eight years, has had a bit of a decline after every major holiday or event where many people visited, and there were many events over a period of a few days. All of us have a hard time functioning when our brain is taxed by overstimulati
Decorations and Dementia: A Few Things to Consider
My Mom has always decorated our house for the holidays. At Christmas we had a huge tree with more ornaments than should have been put on it. She hung green garlands with red berries around the doors and put electric candles in every window of the house. She had two life-sized wooden Nutcracker cutouts and a beautiful Santa statue. And of course, we always switched out our daily dishes to the Christmas Spode, and made sure the tablecloth matched the plates. My Mom has had Lewy
